Best Legal Defense: “Jay-Z And the Illuminati Made Me Do It”
Posted by MichaelGroff on October 12, 2015 | Filed under Podcasts, Uncategorized
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (63.7MB)
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS
Try to put yourself in the shoes of Jason Russell Jump, a 39 year-old Hawaii resident facing murder charges after allegedly bludgeoning his 54 year-old wheelchair using landlord to death in 2012. Keep in mind that you’re probably crazy and want to prove to the court that you’re not fit to stand trial. Your court appointed attorney is fresh out of ideas and thinks you’re nuttier than a pecan log and you’re pretty sure ‘the devil made me do it’ isn’t going to be a winning strategy. So, you reach deep into the deck of legal defense strategies and pull out the tried and true “Jay-Z and the Illuminati are the real criminals here” card. Congratulations, you probably will be found not fit to stand trial!
It’s possible that this story sounds too good to be true, but all of the details, including testimony and probably laughter from the psychologists in the trial can be found here.
Happy Rape and Pillage Day to You, Too!
As a society we lie to our children starting from a very young age. Some of these lies are fairly innocuous and even have reasonable intent behind them such as Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. Other lies we perpetuate are ones that are a bit more absurd such as the notion that “all men are created equal”, but again the intention is genuine. On the other hand there are lies that are egregious and damaging because they completely ignore historical fact and even whitewash it into a fun story for the developing minds of our youth. Of course I refer to the story of Christopher Columbus.
“In 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue”, that part may be accurate but the idea that Christopher Columbus was simply a happy-go-lucky explorer out to prove to his fellow countrymen that the world was round is simply a poor characterization. It would be akin to saying that Al Capone was an adventurous entrepreneur with effective negotiating methods for solidifying his business ventures. Indeed, the comparison is actually somewhat relevant as historians have discovered the darker side of the Columbus saga. Many of the Columbus voyages included stops in the Caribbean where Chris and his band of goons enslaved, raped and pillaged who and what they could whenever possible.
Oddly, these issues are rarely ever brought to light and in text books across the country the Columbus fiction remains largely intact. Not that anyone is suggesting the inclusion of rape into grade school texts, but perhaps we should move away from acknowledging such an amoral individual into our children’s academic curriculum.
The state of California has banned the use of the term “Redskins” in association with any sports team. Their reasoning is that it is a pejorative term and could be offensive, yet the Columbus holiday is still observed by the government of that state. Apparently a derogatory term used to describe native groups that settlers from the Columbus era enslaved/raped/pillaged is wrong but commemoration of the person that started such atrocities is still A.O.K.
“Because Most Welfare Recipients Are on Drugs…”
Remember a few years ago when several states began passing legislation requiring all recipients of welfare to pass a drug test? It sure is a good thing that such laws were passed because literally tens of people have been caught… That’s right, with the abundance of individuals insistent upon testing those that receive state assistance because “they’re just using that money for drugs”, well I guess you sure proved the rest of us right… that you are, in fact, idiots.
Tennessee just completed it’s first full year with the drug testing program for it’s welfare users and of the nearly 30,000 recipients of the government aid, 55 were found to have failed the drug test. A whopping 0.19 percent of the entire welfare pool couldn’t pass a drug test. Certainly this justifies the multi-million dollar cost in having such a program, right?
ALSO ON THIS EPISODE…
- Are people losing interest in the NFL? Could the host of scandals, rule changes and the overall inferior product finally catch up with the number one sport in the United States?
- Another Day, another shooting. Gun control advocates: “I told you so”.
- Could I vote for Bernie Sanders?